Review: Brazilian Waaaaaaaax!

So, a girlfriend of mine coaxed me into getting a brazilian wax for the first time this week. We’re both back on the market and dating, so why not try it? Couldn’t be that bad, right? Most of us have gotten our eyebrows or lips waxed, and it’s not exactly painful, just annoying. I just kept asking myself, how the hell is she going to get to my butt crack fuzz? I kept thinking about was the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin where Steve Carrell gets his chest waxed and screams, KELLY CLARKSON! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GOING TO FEEL LIKE?

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We went to a studio in Scottsdale, AZ called Chic Skincare Studio from a recommendation from friend who goes to this person regularly. Her name was Angela. She was amazing and made you feel completely comfortable.
All I kept thinking while she told me what was going to happen was what position will I be in while I’m baring my ass to you and you’re slathering wax on it?!?! Nervously, I got on the table (sans undies and pants) with a little white washcloth covering my lady part (which amazingly felt a million times better than just lying there naked). She explained how she will do it and assured me it will be fast.

First, she did the bikini line. Not too terrible, just a little stinging for a couple seconds. I thought, wow, this isn’t too bad. Just keep breathing, or “swimming, swimming, swimming” (like Dory says). I had to bend my leg and put my heel next to my other knee, with my leg laying on the table. Then, she put the wax on the “mound” in small areas. Can’t really think of a better word for that, so I’ll just use mound. Wax… and rip! Yeeks. I felt that. And nobody should feel that there. Gaaahhhh. Still, not unbearable, just wanted to slap her for a second. Then, she reached the part where the outer lips meet and gave me a warning that this may “sting”. Riiiip! YYYEERRKS!!! KELLY CLARKSON! KELLY CLARKSON! STING?! YOU FUCKING BITCH! My entire body jumped and my va-jay-jay was on FIRE!!!! Good god. Before I could even get my bearings back, she was already coating on more wax for the other side and RIP! FACCCK! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! People pay for this?!?!? Breathe, breathe, breathe. Finish the va-jay-jay with minimal pain, nowhere near as bad as the lippy part.

So, we reach the part where it’s time for my butt. Haha, I love how that sounds. She tells me to pull my knees to my chest. Oh, this isn’t as bad as being on my hands and knees, holding my butt cheeks open like I thought it would be. Okay. Knees to chest, heart pounding and RIP…. Let me just say ladies, I will take butt fuzz waxing over the lip area opening any day. It was like a field trip back to the mound. Aaahhhhhhh. Unfortunately, I got so comfortable that I felt like I had to fart. DAMNIT. You better stay in, jerk! Like this isn’t awkward enough?! And the fact she is working in my butt cheeks, well, fuck. That would be a shitty tip for her.

And then… we were done. Ta-da! I rubbed some stuff on my junk to soothe it and I must admit, it felt amazing to be bare. Either I was so nervous or so so comfortable the entire time that I didn’t even have time to be embarrassed about showing off ALL my goods to this woman. So ladies, I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND it, pain and all! Of course, you’ll have to go back once a month, but it’s supposed to grow back softer and finer (and the first time hurts the worst I’m told). And who doesn’t want an awesome story to tell their friends?! And the guy I’m seeing was pretty excited about it, I can’t lie 🙂

Cost:

  • $65 for wax
  • $25 for bottle of Vanish roll-on that will help with ingrown hairs and bumps
  • $10 Tip

Total: $100

Recommendation: Do it.

Pain scale (1-10): Worst was about a 7, but mostly 3-4. It only lasts for a few seconds.

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